A co-worker sent me an Associated Press story about the rape investigation at Duke. In the story black women talk about how they're treated by some white men in nightclubs.
According to the women interviewed, a white man asks her to dance erotically while he watches. Or he grabs her rear end. Or asks for sex, in graphic detail, without bothering to ask her name. (Tonya's note: Asking my name wouldn't make me less offended, but I digress.)
“We can sort of count on it happening. My friends from California and New York and Boston all tell the same stories,” Danielle Terrazas Williams, 22, a graduate student at Duke University told the reporter. “They’re watching you as if you’re performing for them, and it’s disgusting. You just sort of feel like, ‘Is this all we’re good for?’"
Reducing black women to sexual objects isn't new, and we all know the legacy of white men raping black women during slavery. The accusations at Duke reignites this conversation, and opens the door to talk about all races have some kind of sexual stereotype.
My black female friends have never complained to me about being disrepected by white men in clubs. My Asian female friends, however, complain men of all ethnicities treat them like exotic creatures. A man told one of my friends he wanted to pour duck sauce on her.
It's no secret that many of the black men hanging in uptown bars prefer white women, and some black women prefer white men. My buddy went to Miami recently and said Latino and Hispanic women were "in." His friends asked why he bothered talking to black women down there when he could get that home. Many of my friends can recite the women of different ethnicities who they've had sex with and can list the ones they want to try.
Whether we like to admit it, subconsciously, many of us believe the stereotypes of blacks being sexually aggressive, Latinos being passionate lovers, Asians being exotic and whites women being the forbidden fruit and easier to deal with. And we want to see if the stereotypes are true.
What do you think? What are your experiences with people of other ethnicities when you're in the club? Post your replies below.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Colorblinded in the clubs?
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28 comments:
I think it is all a "forbidden fruit" kind of thing. It seems in our society, most of the time "like kinds" stay together. There is an excitement about the unknown. Just an opinion.
Some Black Men are extremely aggressive when it comes to white women....often to the point that they scare them....These aggressive individiduals are the same way with all other ethniticities, but they seem to have more of a thing for white women...almost has if intimidating them will work...all ethnic groups have men that are aggressive....black men just seem more agressive and that it is a higher percentage of the total number of black guys at the clubs are this way....
But Tonya we live in a colorblind society don't we?oozing with sarcasim
Until Black men stop having almost naked sex objects in their music videos (women are the objects), then Black women are going to have a hard time not being viewed as a sex object. If your own community views and portrays you as a sex object, then of course the opposite race will view women the same since that is what they see Black men doing to Black women in music videos. i.e. 50 cents Candy Shop.
I feel that these subconscious ideas of how women are have a lot to do with how we view them in the media. The images that are portrayed in videos, movies, commercials, and television undeniably have a large effect on how we think. Men I think fall in love with the idea of how a women is based on certain criteria. Example: A Caucasian man sees a African-American women dancing, The Caucasian man has a fascination with watching top 40 hip-hop videos. In these videos he sees primarily African-American women portrayed as booty shaking freaks. He then gets turned on and tries to imitate what he sees on television by getting his freak on. Even though this particular girl is not dancing like the girls in the video, it doesn't matter to the Caucasian male because he is stupid and can't think for himself.
For instance, A women(any race)in a nightclub might be there with her girlfriends dancing and just having a good time. The male(any race) would picture in his mind automatically what he thinks about her based on certain criteria (ex.body type,race,body language,vocal interaction). The male will automatically access those factors in his own mind and react the way he thinks is appropriate. Even thought the male may think he is interacting with this particular female in an appropriate manner based on his assessment, he may totally be in the wrong. Every male will have their own ideas/stereotypes of women based on these first impressions. I think a lot of this is influenced by many factors(ex.peers, alcohol, mood, fetishes)
What I'm trying to get at is:
Man+Club+Peers+Attractive Women,and or Unattractive Women moving their bodies+To Much Alcohol+Personal fetishes, sometimes = Inappropriate Behavior
to anonymous at 3:26pm. Please not the angry/scary black man syndrome again!! Maybe you are just too conservative.
from
a black chic who loves them
What interesting commentary on today's society and how utterly stupid most people are...
I have had the opportunity to be involved with white women, black women, and Latin women. In each case, each woman was unique. Pleasures were there with each, some aggressive, some not. In some cases the stereotype was fulfilled. In others, the opposite was experiences.
So what does it prove...not a damn thing. You date who want to be with and continue dating who makes you feel the way you want/need to feel.
I have had conversations with MANY people, both men and women around this subject. In each case, those who showed themselves more mature and "evolved" as individuals seemed to understand that each person has their own unique personality.
Those who were nothing more than looking for a good time to get off with someone new...they looked for acted the stereotypes. Maybe those type of people are really the only ones who are continuing the stereotypes...
I think the Duke story is a complete lie and when the stripper is outed I bet no one will apologixe to the players.
Its a case of minorities playing the race card and telling everyone how hard their life is.
Everyone has problems - white, black or asion so deal with it.
i dont feel african american men are more aggressive, i think its more of a (keepin it real) issue. If a african- american male sees a female that he may be interested in then he may just let her know, respectfully of course, it does not matter if she is white, black, or brown skin. this is how it should be. and then at that point the female will show interest or not.
I don't understand why every single thing that is written on this blog is so blatantly racist. I mean everytime I read it I am absolutely incredulous as to how anyone could possibly be so, one-sided, narrow-minded, and blind to reality. I think that this space would be better served as a blog on partying, which ostensibly its writer is paid to do, rather than an extremely poorly researched attempt to comment on imagined and fantastical racial issues. Just my two cents.
It all comes down to the old joke: What is the first thing the black guy says when he gets to a party? Where are the white women?
Yeah that's racist as hell, but it is still true. I think it is hilarious that a stripper/dancer is uset because men are looking at them dancing in a sexual manner. How about a little reality check girls? YOU are puttign yorself out as a sex object by being on a stage and taking your clothes off to music.
I don't blame the black guys for wanting white women, theya re ususlly much pretiter and have a far better attitude.
This isn't a racial issue, yet you've turned it into one. This is about men & women. All women can be reduced to sexual objects, why bring up the slavery thing? Women dress & dance in provocative ways, alcohol is a factor, it's common sense that a guy might say a sexually offensive statement in these situations.
I'm so glad to see that others share my opinion on this blog. Tonya Jameson continues to make everything about race. She has an amazing ability to distort and slant every story she writes.
I really don't know why I continue reading these terrible columns. All it does is raise my blood pressure and make the vein in my forehead pop out. I think that Tonya Jameson should be relieved, or at best reassigned to the mail room. Perhaps she could find a way to make a racial issue out of editing advertising copy? Absolutely terrible. Terrible, Terrible, Terrible. The worst person writing for the Charlotte Observer at the moment. I am embarrased to be a subscriber of the paper version and ashamed that my wonderful city harbors such a rabblerouser. Down with Tonya Jameson. Up with most of the others. Go Panthers.
solid comment, buddy. way to back up your opinion.
I'm glad so many stupid people living in North Carolina are actually ignorant enough to display the bigotry and hatred that obviously still exist in that community. You see, it isn't all the Deep South... there are ignorant white people everywhere.
Tonya just keepin it real....real racial as usual. it never ceases to amaze me how you can spin race into just about everything you write about.
and no, I wont holla' at you if I see you in the street
She claims to be a "pop culture writer". Only problem is, the only culture she writes about is her own. It certainly isn't 99.7% of Observer readers culture either.
I say hire a qualified journalist to write 'pop culture' columns, and they can bust T-Jizzle down to 'resident black malcontent and sh*^ stirrer'.
The sooner you all realize the lifestyle and 'culture' Jameson promulgates is dangerous,and is aimed at eroding family values,promoting discord among ethnic groups and pushing an anti-caucasian agenda, the better.
If you think a black lesbian can be trusted to write non-biased newspaper articles without a pro-black or pro-gay stance, you're dreaming.
I'm holding out hope the new owners will put her out on the streets, or at the very least, refuse to sponsor her irresponsible 'sowing the seeds of discontent' blog.
race IS, in fact, an important issue in modern day America.
it is a shame that many people posting in response to this blog would rather not deal with reality.
"shit stirring" and encouraging intelligent discourse about pertinent issues are not one and the same.
racist White folks...please stop.
you make the rest of us look bad.
genuine attraction can happen across race lines.
i am a white male that is involved with an African American woman.
she approached me...and not because of some unrealistic stereotype, but, rather, genuine, earnest attraction.
and, believe it or not, after a year, it still works.
people are people first. cultural differences will be present in every relationship unless you date yourself.
Well, being on the outside (MD) looking in (NC), it appears that there is a racial issue in NC.
Quite frankly, every race has it's share of unattractive people and attractive people. What is viewed now as being hot are mixed-raced people.
Many men will find other races, other than Black women, attractvie due to what is portrayed in the media. People no longer think for themselves, at least not in the U.S., considering we rank 25th worldwide for education.
So, if you need to find out who is really pretty tune in to MTV or BET, because you cannot figure it out on your own. It's sad, but we are all affected by the media and it's influences on how we form opinions.
I think it is healthy to speak on racial issues, because it tells how far we have come in this country and worldwide.
Clarification:
1. Black Americans - many are smart
2. White Americans - many can dance.
3. Asian Americans - many are struggling.
4. Hispanics - many do speak English.
Those who think that all this debate is a product of bigotry are missing the boat. Those who are using it as an opportunity to make bigoted comments are missing the point even more, of course. The problem is not who she is. Not at all. The problem is the biased and one-sided and generally flat out ignorant way that she presents issues. It's not a function of her being black or being whatever, it's a function of being a poor writer, plain and simple, or, alternatively, a good writer who intentionally writes in an inflammatory and uninformed way. I'd rather assume the latter, but I fear sometimes that he former is true. Perhaps it is all a joke being perpetrated with the reader as the laughingstock. Who knows. I just wish that she would clean up her act and or find a new gig.
I have always stood behind Tonya, but I am also getting tired of all of her blogs being about race and not about Charlotte 'Lifestyle and Culture.' For the people who are not racist, these blogs only make them frustrated with the hatred comments instead of informing Charlotteans about events happening around town.
This is how it goes.... a black man looks at a white woman as an easy target (that is what I hear) and a white man looks at a black woman as an easy target. WHy is it like that? WHat cant it be as an individual basis? Every race/nationality has easy women.
Wow, you guys seriously think you don't have a race problem? I am biracial and reading all your stupid racist comments makes me grateful I don't live in your community. Read this string of commentary... "black women are ugly"... black writers who pen provocative columns that shine a light on what should be an embarassing reality of a racially-divided community is an idiot because she's opionated (hint: that's what columnists do - opine -- you don't have to agree with them but that doesn't make them dumb) ... and the idiot who wrote "black men prefer white women because they're prettier"...WOW! You dummies are proving the national media correct -- North Carolina -- no -- more accurately, Durham/Charlotte has a race problem. You idiots don't need a blog -- you need to join the Ku Klux Klan... if you can indeed spell it.
Amen to that, anonymous one!! What amazes me is how quick you idiots are to proclaim "they're innocent" when really, you don't have the facts. The district attorney wouldn't proceed with charges if he didn't indeed have some evidence -- has that thought crossed your minds? Do you remember the Louima (sp?) case in New York -- the cops there said "nothing happened" and "there was NO sex" yet within weeks, several officers turned state's evidence and testified against their "buddies" (not to mention the medical reports that indicated indeed a sexual assualt happened)... What? You mean they were lying? Yeah...you idiots. WHite cops sodomized a Haitian (black) immigrant and they were later found guilty! Wow, for all you out there who think privileged, white boys can't commit a crime (one of them is facing assault charges elsewhere and there's evidence of bad behavior all over the place), wake up! What prize are you getting in the mail for defending screwed up behavior? Ask yourself this question -- for those saying "she was a stripper and what did she expect?" or "she was a stripper and can't be believed", ask youself this question: Why would a group of privileged, elite white boys be doing at a party even hiring a stripper? Aren't they "above" that or more important, shouldn't they be, after all, they have everything, right? Remember, the sword cuts both ways, and at the end of the day, stripper or not, no woman -- no matter her social status or ethnicity -- asks to be raped. When the facts speak that loudly and you still resist, you just might be a redneck. There's a new riddle for you... "You might be a racist redneck if ... you think a black stripper deserves to be gang raped." Put that on your North Caroline tourism website... because that's exactly the national image you have right now. No matter the outcome of this case, Durham and Charlotte are exposed!
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