Ever since a photographer asked me if I was attending a benefit for Ray Ducharme, I’ve been debating about whether to blog about benefits for the injured banker.
I don’t have anything against Ducharme, but neither the line-up of entertainment nor the cause are enough to get me to the Hearst Tower Plaza on Thursday or the Neighborhood Theatre on Saturday.
I can’t see donating money to a fund for a guy who was injured when he was thrown from a cow in a vaquilla, an event where people chase cows around a bull ring, pulling these animals ears and tails. Ducharme was in Spain for the annual running of the bulls in Pamplona.
I’m glad to hear that, according to pray4ray.com, Ducharme is getting better. Unfortunately, he continues to have a hard time swallowing and with one lung. His friends are amazing. They’ve set up a Web site to update his condition and organized benefits for Thursday (Hearst Tower) and Saturday (Neighborhood Theatre).
If something ever happens to me, I hope my friends will be that vigilant. I don’t, however, want any benefits if I get injured doing something crazy. I'm a thrill seeker: motorcycles, sky-diving, tree-hopping on zip lines. One day I want to run with the bulls.
I live my life this quote: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, hair in a mess, and screaming: "WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
With that said, benefits are for people who aren’t that wild and who have no control over what happened to them, such as DJ Scott Beaty who was seriously injured in a car accident last year. The accident wasn’t his fault and he didn’t have health insurance. They’re for Renelvis who has to care for disabled daughter alone now that his wife has passed away. Of course, I’m down with anything benefiting cancer foundations and children.
Speaking of which, there’s a breast cancer benefit tonight at the Comedy Zone and a leukemia benefit on August 26 at the rooftop terrace at South Tryon.
I wish Ducharme luck for a speedy recovery. I hope he will be able to run with the bulls again one day if he chooses. I also hope that we remember there are a whole bunch of other people who are less fortunate and who don’t put themselves in harms way who need our donations too.
For details on the benefit and Ducharme’s recovery www.pray4ray.com
So, how do you choose what charities or benefits to support? Or are there so many that you’ve given up? Post your reply below.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Nothing against Ray
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24 comments:
I completely agree--benefits and charity are for people who need the help because of something that happened that was out of their control. Not becuase they chose to do something potentially dangerous or harmful.
I feel terrible for Ray--but it was his choice to pursue that activity. I hope he heals quickly and is able to do whatever he chooses.
However, I'd love to see this kind of response and publicity for people who really need it; those people who didn't have a choice in a medical condition, tragic accident, or some other unexpected event.
I've been thinking the same thing since it came out. I actually sent a note to the editor of the Charlotte Observer - never saw it in print. Glad they let you voice your opinion on here though. I do hope he recovers, but what about giving some of the funds raised to charities that support animal rights?
and how about elderly people that have to make choices between their medicine or food?
Tonya,
I admire your candor. This is something I've been thinking of since I first heard the news. If Ray's friends put this much effort, time and energy in to other causes, i.e. AIDS, Cancer, Domestic Violence, Improving Education, the world would be a much better place. Comments such as these keep me reading your blog--J
I'm sure if this kid was black, you would've blogged about this the day it happened, urging readers to support "your homie."
If some black kids got shot and paralyzed at "free hotdog and grape soda day" at Bobcats Arena, I'm sure you wouldve been sympathetic.
Now a young white professional gets injured, and you use it as an opportunity to show how "real" you are, and to pathetically try and generate some controversy, because no one comments on your blog entries about you and your lesbian friends hanging out at a Fantasia Barrino concert.
So you don't like the "entertainment" lineup at the benefit??
Well, there's more to music than "Young Jeezie", Usher and 50 Cent, although one wouldn't know it by reading your sorry-ass ludicrous "pop culture" column.
Of course there are numerous people in the world that need help, have you and your “homies” that post in approval of your opinion lost sight of the tree from the forest? Could you possibly think that this enormous outpour of generosity from so many is the first time these people have been motivated by something to donate time, effort and their “cheddar” to a cause?....do you?
I will spell this out for you, F-R-I-E-N-D. Ray is a friend to so many, how about you leave it alone instead of making a weak attempt to bring negativity to a noble cause?
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of Ray Ducharme.
You are certainly entitled to speak your mind, the 1st amendment lives strong, except for the post that was taken down by the administrator, way to go.
“Paid to Party”…that must be a sweet gig. How about you sober up, step into reality and appreciate the positive things that are going on in the world.
People- I was one of the people that attended the auction and actually donated an item. We are his friends and we can chose to donate our time and money in whichever way we want. He was not one of the people abusing the bulls. This was a very unfortunate sitation and you all should find other things to b*tch about.
Hey Blake,
No I think it's you trying to create the controversy. Read some of the comments above they make perfect sense. Giving a charitable donation to a victim who is in a situation because of a choice he made by being a "thrill seeker"is one thing. When you give to help out those who are victims due to circumstances caused by no fault of their own, (i.e. diseases, natural disasters, etc.) thats totally different. A black kid getting shot at a "free hotdog and grape soda" day (the ignorance is funny -good one Blakey) would be senseless(even if it was a white, mexican, or asian kid) and I would expect to see the community get up, say and do something about it. But I am sure that any kid would not be going out to the Arena to see how many bullets he could dodge for amusement. Unlike Ray who was going over to participate in an event where something tragic could happen. Unfortunely it did. Just so you understand where I am coming from Blake I don't give $$$ to guys who choose to race motorcycles and get injured either.
I find it interesting people are trying to turn this into a race/sexual preference issue. How childish, you should be ashamed of yourself. This is NOT about Ray or Tonya's color or who they choose to date. Stop perpetuating the race/sexual preference debate and see this for what it is...our complete indifference as a society to help people other than our “own”…and I DON’T mean race (just for the record I am white).
How many people plan to attend the Laugh for the Cure or the Leukemia & Lymphoma event? I doubt it will be nearly as many who attend the Ducharme fund raiser events. How many canned goods did you donate to families with children who go hungry every night? Have you heard of Crisis Ministries or Friendship Trays? Did you donate to the Charlotte Rescue Mission, a free Christian based addiction recovery program in Charlotte? How much did you donate to a battered women’s charity this year? When was the last time you saw a change jar for a dying child in need of a life saving surgery and actually threw in some money? When did you last volunteer at a homeless shelter?
The point of this is not to say we shouldn't support the effort to raise money for Ray. It’s to bring awareness to the plight of many other people who do not have friends, family, money, insurance, and/or a job who, for no fault of their own, depend on our charity to survive. These are our community’s silent/invisible victims who might live one more day if we gave them even 1% of the attention we are giving to Ray Ducharme. Don’t ignore them because fundraisers to help them aren’t big enough or popular enough for your social calendar.
So you won't go to a benefit for Ray, even though this is considered a 'must-attend' by many in the Uptown crowd. I thought you were 'paid to party' by the Observer? Your reasons for not attending are lame. Along the same lines, you better not show up at any 'stop the youth violence' benefits because most of that violence occurred for the same reasons Ray was injured - taking unnecessary risks.
Your only 'paid to party' for certain members of Charlotte. Looking over your blog it is fairly easy to see who your readership is. I hope this is just the Observer's pathetic attempt to reach out to those who otherwise wouldn't read the paper.
Lastly & as an example of your hypocrisy....I wonder how loud you'd complaining if the Observer's 'paid to party' reporter didn't go see Mary J Blige's afterparty because he/she didn't like the venue.
It doesn't matter that Ray chose to put himself in danger,Your take is in poor taste as the man is parlysed,Like someone earlier said if some thugs were going to be there rappin fo "d" benefit I'm think you'd be in "the hoouse" fo sho.You probably never heard of the musicians on the bill,The singer for Crashbox is a good guy & a even better singer ( he even does some soul)I'm disapointed in your take
let me just say, that Ray has an amazing group of friends who from the moment he was injured rallied around him and have not stopped since. He has in his lifetime developed a team of people that value what he adds to their lives so much that they will forever support him in his recovery. It is your choice to participate in whatever charitable organizations that you would like...but passing judgement on me for participating on helping one of my friends recover from what was an accident is simply disrespectful and rude. I hope you take a moment to look at yourself and figure out if you are the type of friend that would respond in the way Ray's friends have responded for him. And if you are not, make some changes in yourself--and make an effort to really deeply care for people that love and support you--and tell them. Ray and his friends are not twisting peoples arm's to participate, choose to participate in his recovery or don't but do not take shots at the love and support we have for our dear friend Ray. For anyone who needs a prayer said for them because they were hurt, or got sick, or just need a helping hand...send an email to info@pray4ray.com, we'll add you to our prayer list--we got a lot of love to give.
Tonya-
I have read over the Blog entries and have to admit..they're quite colorful and apparently readers feel very passionate about their side/ opinion.
I happen to be a very good friend of Ray Ducharme, as well as his sister Erin and his Parent's Ray and Fran....for approx. 8 years. I have been fortunate to visit him at the hospital, attended his fundraisers and contributed my own money, as well as the company I work for. So I ,too, am very passionate about the issue being debated. But I think perhaps there have been some mis-interpretations. The people who have contributed their time, money and effort to Ray...do it just for that reason...to help Ray because we love him...not to idolize or make his situation more marketable than other charitable causes. He would be the first person to tell you that he is no more deserving of all this than anyone else. He knows there are many people who fight for their lives everyday that are living in worse circumstances than him....He was overwhelmed and slightly embarrassed by the large amount of publicity he has received from his accident. I suppose that's why so many people have gone out of their way to help Ray and his family in any capacity...because he and his family would not expect it nor ask for it.
Also...I believe you and some of your readers may also be making a basic assumption that you know the the types of people that have helped Ray. It's as if you assume that because we have contributed to a very good friend...that we would not reciprocate to other charitable organizations. I know almost everyone involved with fundraising for Ray actively participates in many charitable functions...so yes, in other words...we do know what Crisis Ministries is because we have made donations, yes...we did know about the Laugh out Luekemia fundraiser at the Comedy Zone...primarily because one of Ray's organizers also helped with organizing that event, as well. Yes, we know AIDS organizations because my company did a huge annual event with RAIN & MAP called Helping Hands.
So to make a long story short....We know and love Ray and that's why we wanted to help him...we all understood the risk he took in Pamplona and appreciate his choice to do the Vaquilla. He got hurt and will now be reminded of that choice every moment of his life. I promise you, he doesn't need anyone else to remind him that he chose to do what he did.
But you should not make an across- the-board assumption that because we love and want to help Ray...that we don't have enough compassion or moral ethics to contribute to other very worthy and noble causes.-
Sincerely,
Sherry Bynum
Would it have hurt to make a cameo?
Tonya..your true self really came out on this one.
Shame on you Tonya.
You do make the assumption that those who want to contribute to Ray's fund do not contribute in other ways. Because I contribute and support Ray as a friend does not make me any less of a person or aware of those who are in situations beyond their control. I am a huge supporter of LLS (leukemia and lymphoma society) as well as I donate to the MS society and other cancer funds.
Again SHAME on you for making such an assumption and picking on someone who has had a misfortune.
From the very beginning I have been amazed at this whole charity for Ray thing. I don't feel sorry for him at all because he is the one that made the choice to put himself in harms way. I'm sure being a BOFA employee he has health insurance and long term disability to pay for his medical needs. Too bad the ones organizing all this crap don't spend half the time organizing events that would benefit people that really need it. I tell you what I'll say a prayer for him but that would be the only thing they would get from me. We all make choices in life that we have to live with. Some more costly than others.
TJ-you absolutely disgust me. Generally, your articles that make it to print in the paper are reasonable (by that I mean there is decent information hidden within the miserable attempts to sound like you are hip). Your blog is a completely different story. The things you write on her absolutely blow me away. I'll be eagerly awaiting the time when you crash your "bike" and if I happen upon you following that accident, I'll be sure to leave you as I found you, since I know that that is what you would have wanted as a "risk taker." I am counting the days until either the Observer wises up and throws you out on the street, or you get a new contract at some other paper somewhere far, far, far away from here. I hope that you have been sending out resumes.
AC
It's funny how the PC shock troops have come out in force on this one. The other night I made an offhand comment to a friend of mine about the "trampling of the idiots" (which, according to the comic strip "Pearls Before Swine", is what bulls call the "running of the bulls"), and a person standing near me got in a total huff about what I said... turns out he's a good friend of Ray's. Oops.
I'm sorry, but running around with a 2-ton muscular beast with sharp, pointy horns is just plain stupid. It's just as dumb as those guys who go rocketing up I-77 on their motorcycles at 80 MPH while wearing gym shorts, a tank top, flip-flops, and a helmet (which is ironic, since if you fall off a motorcycle at that speed wearing that attire, all that will be left of you is the helmet, with your head inside). Darwin keeps an eye on people who take foolish risks and occasionally he claims them. There are any number of hazardous recreational activities (skydiving, for example) that are safer than running around a wounded, angry bull... at least with skydiving, there's no one trying to hurt you.
It's unfortunate that Ray put himself in a position where he got hurt. And it's nice that he has a lot of friends who are willing to help raise money on his behalf. But for anyone to criticize any of the rest of us for criticizing HIM shows that they just haven't thought it through. If someone stupidly puts themselves in harm's way, I'm going to say I think it's stupid if I feel like it... and if that offends you, then too bad. I've spoken to a number of people about this and we are almost all in agreement that Ray brought this on himself.
My advice to any of the rest of you: Stay the heck away from bulls, unless you are a professional matador or cowboy and you know what the heck you are doing.
I have always admired your writings, but girlfriend you flunked the sensitivity test on this story.
I appreciate how friends come together in a big way to support a friend.
I am shocked by some of these post in this forum (both sides should be ashamed of their acid tones!).
Yes, Tonya always seems to be a person who sees the negative in everything, however that is her right. It is also Ray's friends right to come together to celebrate/support their friend.
Can't we focus on bigger issues (not that Ray is not important) that impact all of us? Everyone in this blog needs to take their negative energy and find something positive to donate that energy to.
Go Ray, Go Tonya, Go all!
It's pretty clear everyone is sick of you, your politicized and racialized agendas, your dreadful writing skills, your urgent updates on black artists no one in this town could give a bag of farts about,and your distasteful arsenal of nonsensical urban slang. (izzle, frizzle, bizzomb)
Perhaps you can go write for Vibe or the Charlotte Post, where the continued dumbing down of your own culture is acceptable, or maybe even a more progressive publication where you can go live out your "Black Dyke In The City" magazine column fantasy.
I'm tired of seeing your drivel in my newspaper, and from the looks of these comments (which to your credit, you allow to be posted) everyone else is sick of you too.
This guy was injured in an event from which all fun is directly related to the risk of interacting with 1000lb animals . And he was drunk. I think I'll donate my funds to charitable causes that perpetuate education and community improvement, not sympathy for someone who knowingly and willingly took a time-tested Spanish cultural event lightly and now is paying the price. Maybe I'll donate to the local Darwinist club.
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