Forget landing a NASCAR museum or passing school bonds, we've got bigger problems here. I've never been one to lack a date, so I was stunned to read a new survey showing that Charlotte stinks for singles.
According a national survey by AXE deodorant, Charlotte ranked No. 65 in "AXE's Best Cities for Hooking Up in America." We ranked so low, we could've been in the Top 25 for worst places to hook up. That dubious honor went to Birmingham, Ala.
No. 1 hook up city? Seattle, Wash.
How can you even tell if a shorty is cute, underneath all that rain gear? Heck, even Raleigh-Durham ranked ahead of us (They'd better thank all the drunk college coeds).
I know Charlotte is great for couples and families, but it can't be that bad for singles.
What do you think? Is Charlotte one of the worst places to hook up, and if so why? Post your comment below.
Top 25.
1. Seattle, WA
2. Honolulu, HI
3. San Francisco, CA
4. Austin, TX
5. San Diego, CA
6. Portland, OR
7. Providence, RI
8. New York, NY
9. Denver, CO
10. Baltimore, MD
11. Oakland, CA
12. Buffalo, NY
13. Los Angeles, CA
14. Rochester, NY
15. Dallas, TX
16. Tacoma, WA
17. Milwaukee, WI
18. Boston, MA
19. Fort Worth, TX
20. New Orleans, LA
21. San Antonio, TX
22. Salt Lake City, UT
23. Oklahoma City, OK
24. Phoenix, AZ
25. Raleigh-Durham, NC
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Charlotte's the pits for single
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I lived in LA before I moved here. I was mid 30ish and single. I was in a committed relationship but went out with friends, and GOOD LORD, if you're over 24 in this city and not married, apparently you're a freak.
Whereas in LA, I could get into the Skybar anytime I wanted, here I felt much the outsider.
Of course, now that I'm married and have a child, I fit right in. ;-)
Charlotte is definitely one of the worst I've seen in terms of being over 25, male and single.
Anita is dead on if you're not married with children. I would just add the additional caveat that you also have to be a strong Christian too.
The majority of my dates in Charlotte with single women over 25 tended to fit the profile of:
1. Being at least divorced once with at least one child. I had two instances where the women were actually divorced three times.
2. Mentally not all there - I had one date confess to me that she sometimes threw "tantrums". But the medication was keeping it in check. No lie.
3. Already in a relationship with someone and just looking for some excitement - believe me, they don't always tell you the truth about already being in a relationship.
I've got a sweet girlfriend now, and she's 24 (I'm 31). So far as I can tell, she's single, never been married, and got all her marbles. Cross your fingers for me...
I moved here at age 26 from a small town in NC. My dating life had always been very active. Once Charlotte became my home, my love life became non-existant. Now, I'm divorced and over 40. This town still seems so lonely...
Wow! New Orleans made the list. And that city's still practically empty.
Charlotte is and always has been lame...just look at the geeks in Loch Norman trying to look "Burning Man" cool....The Pits!!!!!!
I'm a single WM, 37, and I've been here since 1992... Charlotte is a TERRIBLE city for meeting single women if you're a man over 30. It seems like every single woman who's "age-appropriate" for me is either divorced with one or more children, a committed single (the sort who dates and dates but never goes any farther), or just looking for an "intellectual whore" (a guy who's interesting to talk to, but that's as far as her interest goes). I've pretty much decided that the single women in Charlotte are WAY too picky, since virtually all of my friends are totally baffled as to how I've managed to remain single for so long.
San Francisco is #3 - too bad the list doesn't qualify gay from straight singles.
I'm native to Charlotte (a rarity to find these days), a 35-year-old black male and happily married for five years, and I'll be the first to tell you this city is awful for single folks. Unless you go to church or clubs, meeting someone is darn near impossible. And even then, just because you meet a woman in church doesn't necessarily make her Christian.
Don't let the trappings fool you; Charlotte is a super-conservative city, much more so than Los Angeles, San Francisco, or Atlanta (the city most closely identified as Charlotte's natural rival). But to be fair, Raleigh-Durham isn't that hot a spot for meeting folks, either. I spent five years in college up there, and the women can look at you just as screwy as they do down here.
Those of you still looking, you have my prayers. And if any black men are reading this, take this advice--try Atlanta!
I am a 30 yr old single woman and am truly the only single person I know. I am with everyone who says you only fit in here if you are married, have kids, and are a turbo Christian. As none of those things, I spend my days feeling lost here.
Unless you're willing to submit yourself to smokey environments, Charlotte is the pits for meeting other singles. And althought I enjoy sports bars, dance bars, etc...in Charlotte they are all too smokey for me so I don't go there. Many other cities have lots of smoke-free places to hang-out, visit, etc. Plus, many places have free museums, presentations, huge parks, etc. Although Charlotte is getting better in the park area, it still isn't up there and who ever heard of a free museum in Charlotte?
It is almost impossible to meet people in this city. And that is because this city is boring and has no culture. Everyone is absolutley right by saying you have to be a die heart christian or you don't fit in. I have faith/religion in my heart but I am tired of seing church's being built on every corner. If we want to become a mojor city, than we need to act like one and start building things to attact all types of people. I am here because I am not single. But most of my friends are and they hate it. If I was single, I would move away from here in a heartbeat.
straight singles should stop complaining. for gay singles, this town is dead, dead, dead. must be the strong conservative draw.
I just moved back to Charlotte from Asheville in January, and my experience is that people just don’t mingle here. Anywhere I've gone, I don’t feel that people are approachable, and nbody approaches me. Maybe I should start just talking to people and see if I can spread the idea that way. CDL, 30
I'm 39 and single and I never had a problem meeting anyone before I moved here. Almost everyone I know in Charlotte is either already married or engaged. Most single guys my age are divorced but busy dealing with ex-wife issues or looking for a younger woman to enhance their mid-life crisis status. And I'm not a bar-hopper. So it just stinks.
The city is terrible for single people and dare I say it interesting people?..... I find that even married couples are boring or bored to death. It is just when you have a family you have more chores to do that give the appearance of being active. Even when we have an event downtown or a big concert people are racing to their cars so they can get home before 11:00! I don't think it is just the conservative outlook, or the large majority that are married. It is the small town mentality where the majority would rather have a cookout or a gathering surrounded by the people they have known since the 5th grade instead of branching out meeting new people and trying new things.........
I totally agree that Charlotte is not a good place for singles I have lived here for 2yrs and have had very few dates and im a very attractive female. I guess i am a single mother of one and most men are not lookin for that.
I came to CLT from a rather large city when I was 18 going to college and have lived here for 9 years. Comparing this city to LA, San Fran, etc. is kind of a biased way to look at things. The night life in Charlotte has started to grow up significantly in the last several years and is only getting better. There are a lot of families in this town, but there are a lot of singles as well. You just have to get in where you fit in. When I was in college, I lived in the University area, and never had a problem finding a date or to get in a relationship with. Since I have been in my mid 20's, I have lived and hung out in uptown where there is a variety of places to go, and people to meet Again, I haven't had any trouble finding someone to be with. Obviously the bar scene isn't for everyone, but there are many clubs and groups out there, in addition to church communities, etc. Here a few web sites for the people who need to know.
www.carolinanightlife.com
www.lazyday.com
www.choa.com
www.charlottesportscenter.com
Charlotte is a great place to be, and is growing up quickly. You just have to know how to go out and find what you are looking for.
It sounds like not too many are putting a whole lot of effort in finding something to do in Charlotte for dating purposes or just hanging with the friends. Of course, you have the old stand-bys like dinner and a movie, but what about sporting events such as Panthers, Bobcats, Checkers, Knights? All of which are great for couples who are dating (unless you have a girlfriend who despises sports!) Of course, you also have the wide variety of clubs uptown, downtown, eastside, westside, etc. If you like to dance, drink, sit and socialize, you would have to be blind not to find a place in Charlotte where you wouldn't feel right at home. I may not have come up with every possible situation where you can have fun and date, but if you just look hard enough and don't expect someone else to do it for you, there is a lot of things in Charlotte for singles to do and on so many different social levels. Open your eyes!
You think this city is bad, try living in Las Vegas.
Reading most of your comments was depressing. I'm a Charlotte native who currently lives in Raleigh. If you ask me, Raleigh sucks bigtime compared to Charlotte. There is hardly anything to do here, meanwhile Charlotte is blowing up with things to do. Either most of ya'll don't know where to go, or the ones that do go out have no personality. I've never had a problem with meeting people in Charlotte....maybe I'm one of the "nonapproachable" people in which only we "nonapproachables" know how to meet each other. Hardly. Maybe some of you need to be more outgoing. It's not that hard...what do you have to lose? A "no thank you?"... To add salt to the wound, I found my future wife at RiRa's a few weeks ago. Perhaps it's true that you usually find something when you're not looking for it.
I moved here 5 years ago I expected at least an interesting music scene...where your likely to meet interesting single women...Boy was I wrong...Try a big BORING church scene...90% of the time the 2 or 3 cool places to see bands at don't even have 50 people in the crowd...
Charlotte is the most boring Big City I've lived in...As far as meeting interesting women forget it...they're all married, engaged, or gay...Trust me most of the single ones are single for a reason...
If I could afford to move I would...
Charlotte's not so bad, but folks could do a little better to open up to strangers.
Though I'm a native who left, a crowbar is often needed to pry more than a few sentences out a new person.
Moreover, some strange yuppie class/mood has washed over many singles. Who knows why.
Still, it's not a bad place. Folks get into a rut too easliy, though. I read once that the definition of insanity is repeating the same action while expecting a different result.
Maybe the complaining folks are tired with themselves or their situations. There's a fantastic music scene growing around NoDa, the Visulite, and Tremont (and a few other places like the room and amos').
I've always enjoyed Smoky Joes, which is indeed smoky, and the little area around Central Ave. and the Penguin.
Oh, and there is plenty of uptown stuff from bars to shake-it places for all flavors.
Davidson is doing pretty well, too, and Birkdale -though kinda corny and pretentious- isn't bad, either.
It just takes a little creativity.
Ever try going to another hang out?
And really, what is at the heart of that survey? Everybody just wants a little action. That's all.
I moved here two years ago & lived in University City. Big mistake if your out of college and trying to get away from the stupid college bars & also if you're not interested in living among married people with 3+ kids each...oops. I live in uptown now, and it's better, but I do have to say-i've been single for about 7 months out of the two years i've been here and it IS hard to meet someone! The only people i've met have been 'friends of friends' who are just interested in meeting you out at a freaking bar over a nice DATE, and that is IT....haven't met anyone new, it seems like guys just aren't interested in taking girls out on dates-just taking them HOME for the night...I like the bar scene, but at the same time where else can I go to meet guys!? The gym?, yeah-where they gawk at girls taking step aerobics class with their 5 buddies.....and half the time they're already married or in the process of getting divorced!! But there's nothing else....all the events that go on seem to cater to families pushing strollers around, or church stuff....I'm really starting to think it IS a bad place for singles!
I moved here in June from New York and can I just say, "Yawn"!!!! Everyone that I've met has asked me, "so are you married...do you have any children"??? When I say no, they look at me as if I have three heads! How could you be 36 and no children?!?!?!
Charlotte is a great city to buy property and move into your newly built brand spanking new 5 bedroom house and still have money left over to buy a car...I'm speaking in general terms, if you've lived in the Northeast everything there is 3 times as much as it is here. But if you don't have anyone to share it with...forget about it. As far as culture goes Charlotte leaves much to be desired. But I'm being too forward because I'm trying to compare the museums here to the Metropolitan in NY (no comparison). They need to stop building so many fast food joints and build more parks and meet and greet places that are not church related for singles.
It's what you make out of it. For the people who say Charlotte is dead for singles, where do you go out? Is it the same place every weekend? If so, that may be the problem. Mix it up. I've lived in Raleigh and Charlotte and I cannot tell the difference in the people. Charlotte may have more of a 30-something crowd, but I don't see a problem with that.
What is your goal in mind? Getting laid or getting married? I see no problem w/ either if that is what makes you happy. For me, going out to bars, I'm not looking for a wife.
30yr swm.
I agree. I'm from here but have traveled all over the country. Even in cities that I was only in for a week, I'd get asked to dinner or drinks. Charlotte is very clique-y. People go out with their own little crowd and aren't welcoming to befriending someone outside of the group.
I used to always think Charlotte was a terrible place for a single, 20-something African-American female to go out until I moved . Now I realize that it's not that there was not anything to do here, I just wasn't doing enough to find something.
Just be quiet. Tonya Jameson is not very approachable to begin with.
I have lived here most of my life except for three years which I lived in Atlanta (great place and caters more to the single crowd even at the churches). Charlotte just isn't the scene for singles, and it is very discouraging. It might be clicky but there are those of us who are open to new people and experiences. I have been single now close to 20 years. It would be nice to meet someone but I have tried all avenues and it hasn't worked yet. You are right about the clicks but it feels safe that way. I believe it now has come a "trust" issue. Charlotte does not cater to the single crowd unless you want to meet someone in a bar. Grew up on Lake Norman, and it's been taken over by the "young and fake" crowd. It used to about enjoying the Lake - who cares about your boobs.
The are 17 Gay Bars in Charlotte, and hundreds of straight bars. There is the gallary crawl, NBA games, NFL games, NASCAR races, Wine Tasting, Mint Museum, Thursdays at 5, etc, etc etc. I say the issue is the folks on here who spend their time complaining instead of entertaining! Tonya J is the biggest complainer of any writer in Charlotte. She is a Macy Gray type boy/girl. Rough. It's no wonder she hates it.
I wonder where most of the people who complain live? Certainly it is boring out in sprawlsville, but in many of the the intown neighborhoods, there are at least some local bars, parks, etc....
It's certainly not the most exciting city in the country, but there is never a night that I can't find something to do.
I'm not the most social person, but I never have had a problem meeting people to have relationships with or just to have fun with. Most of these people need to stop feeling sorry for themselves, ask some random coworkers/neighbors where they like to go, and then go out to some new places.
Downtown Charlotte nightlife is more of a ‘Wine and Cheezer‘ type atmosphere, and not very Rock ‘n’ Roll or Punk. Maybe if you looking for a piano bar or a martini bar that’s playing the latest disco or techno. So you could just imagine the type of people that frequent these places. Not a good place to hookup. Seems to be a lot more going on the fringes of Charlotte and even the smaller towns like Salisbury, Fort Mill or Concord.
Rochester and Buffalo are top 15, perhaps someone was drinking when they made this list.
Most complainers live in the burbs! Burbs= babies, bacon, burnout, boredom. The "up to 4 mile radius" of uptown is very happening! Lots to do. You can choose to be gay (17 gay bars calling your name), you can choose to be straight(bout a hundred of those places), you can choose to country (20 of those calling ya'), you can choose to be urban/thuggin' (about 20 giving you a shout out). You can also like sports= NBA, NFL, WNBA, ECHL Checkers, NASCAR, etc. You can also ride the beginnings of light rail- trolley. You can also eat in restaurants nearly 30 stories up in the air.. I could keep talking and talking. It's the single burbinites that complain. It's their fault they live out with the baby producing folks on fallopine tube lane.
check out lazyday.com if you're looking for stuff to do downtown adn events to met other singles
The lack of ethnic diversity and a variety of entertainment in Uptown is the reason why Charlotte is low on the list. The center of any city should be entertaining and a place where people around the city to come together. When I moved here seven years ago, I was stunned that I couldn't shop or catch a movie in the Uptown area, even worse, the area became deserted after 5. The variety entertainment and neon lights in the center of cities like NY, Chicago, and Atlanta brings energy to those areas. Charlotte can possibly benefit from becoming a 24-hour city, adding ethnic businesses, and national street level retail/entertainment to Center City. An energized non-conservative Center City would take Charlotte to a new level.
To all the people that say singles should all live uptown, not all singles can AFFORD to live uptown. University might be socially dead but it's affordable. We don't all work for the bank and make a hundred grand. Besides, do you have to LIVE uptown to meet someone uptown? Are they that incestuous?
Reading these comments has been very amusing. I am 36, married, no children, no church and get asked out a lot. It cracks my husband up. I asked him why this still happenes and he said, "Sweetpea, you are fun and talk to people. What man would NOT want to ask you out?" Go out and be approachable, the more people you discount that are divorced, have children, go to church, golf, play video games, drink, etc. the smaller you make your dating pool. My WONDERFUL husband was not my "type" but I ventured out and am married to an incredible man. Charlotte is a fine place to get dates if you have an open mind and are willing to try new places.
Here's an idea: all the people who responded in this thread organize a meetup. You were looking for each other, well here you are - stop being a victim!
There's PLENTY to do in this city (even a bunch that has nothing to do with clubs or churches), it just might take some effort to do (GASP). I've lived in this city my entire life (now happily married) and can say without a doubt that anyone who thinks they can't meet people here are nuts. Like-minded singles aren't to come floating into your living rooms folks, get a Creative Loafing, check out local happenings on the Internet and get out there.
This town is what WE make it, not the invalid survey results of an over-priced deoderant company!
Charlotte and it's surrounding areas sucks for nightlife. I moved here from a big city where clubs regularly hold 500-1500 people...dancin and getting sweaty. Not posers. Charlotte has small venues that hold a fraction of those numbers and it's normal to go to a club and see 50 non dancing people there. There are no good clubs (black, white, latino or gay) and when they do have a celebrity DJ or performer it's hit or miss. The only town where the "old skool hip hop concert" had to cancelled for lack of participation. You'll never see a Madea play here.
This is terrible for having so many campus' around and so many "horny" folks. Daytime fun might be "alright" if you're in an atmosphere where you can appropriately hit on someone. I don't think picking up action in church is going to get you in the pearly gates :)
If the police/legislation have their way it will continue to be a lame area. This is so unfortunate because the positive press on the city has people moving here by the boat load....but as fast as professionals come - they leave. The city could hardly do the pre-superbowl party right. This is the only city I've been to w/2 pro sports and no action. This city needs to get up to speed...FAST!
I just moved here in late July and i'm single, educated, looking and will be 30 next month...OUCH!!! after reading all the reviews, i'm wondering if i made a big mistake. I came here thinking a decent size city, pro sports, colleges and decent night life.....hey i may just find someone...to possibly settle down with. Now, i'm not so sure. I purchased my first house so i don't think i can get up and go as some suggested. But hey i'm here for the long haul...so let's hope i'm one of the lucky ones who can land more dates than i can count on 1 hand :)
I've been in a lot of these cities. Does "hooking up" equal a date? Salt Lake City?!?
I completely agree that Charlotte is the pits for singles. Charlotte is a great city for families and married couples, but singles are overlooked and excluded. I think Charlotte lacks diversity, diversity of thought especially. Dare I say, but it's a bit of a Stepford community.
A pro and a con for Charlotte is that people move here without their friends or families, therefore they have to start from scratch. Charlotte benefits from all the diversity that moves here from the North, West and MidWest, however we are all in a city without knowledge of things to do. After reading all these threads, I have to say that Charlotte prob has a great deal to do. Mmmm, I say Tonya and the Observer to throw a "New and Single" to Charlotte party. This party should list out everything that happens, etc. Wow, a newspaper could actually be effective in a community.
I have to also agree!! There only seems to be married couples and families all around me. I stopped looking for someone because you cannot find anyone single in Charlotte anymore!!
granted, I've only lived here 5 months but I think Charlotte is getting a bad rap. I lived in Arlington, VA (DC Metro) and that was the worst area for singles ever! And Charlotte is worse than L.A.??? PLEASE. In D.C. & L.A. if you're not blond and 95 pounds fuggaddetaboutit.
Personally, I think Charlotte is what you make out of it. If you come down expecting everything to be like New York, LA, even Atlanta, you're going to be disappointed. But if you take Charlotte for what it is, chances are you will tend to enjoy it a little more. I hope that with all of the positive things going on in Charlotte, that 5 years from now, we will not continue to have all these tiring discussions about whether Charlotte is cool or hip enough, because it's starting to get old.
I moved to Charlotte from Amarillo, TX, but I now live in the Chicago area. Charlotte felt like a big city to me even though it is really a mid-sized city. I loved it there and have considered moving back. I had my all time best girlfriend while I lived here who I met at work. Sometimes it happens in places you don't expect. One thing I have noticed about single women that complain about not being married is they usually never intiate anything. They stay in thier little cliques(artsy, professional, yuppie, what ever) and never venture to meet anyone outside of that. Women if you want to meet a guy sometimes you have to put some bait out. I don't mean throw yourself at him but at lease flirt a little. In this day and age you can't expect guys to always make the intial contact. You must get outside of yourselves sometimes.
Now that I have lived in Chicago I wonder if Charlotte will feel lame when I move back.
I'm not a person that does the clubbing thing, but it just dawned on me that some of you that's complaining so much are not seriously looking. I don't know what part of town you're located, but if you don't go outside of the University area or South Charlotte, then of course you're going to think that Charlotte's boring. It would seem to me that you can find something to do Uptown or around the surrounding areas of Uptown. I also believe that to try and compare Charlotte with New York and LA is just unfair as well because Charlotte has not gotten to that level yet. Of course, no matter what Charlotte does, it just always seem that some people still won't be satisfied.
I go to Charlotte a lot and I always manage to find something to do. It's just a matter of finding the right places to go.
I don't think it's so much that there isn't anything to do in Charlotte, but it's the demographic makeup of the Charlotte poplulation. It's a preppy, yuppie, close-minded community.
Hopfully that will change as the city continues to grow and get more diverse. What will help is the city getting more arts-related venues and more bars and clubs that cater to more than just the typical college-type crowd. Also, the Charlotte radio market needs more than just the typical pop-oriented and hip-hop formatted stations they have.
I'm a single female, mid-30s, no children...I don't date much, but I don't think it has to do with the Charlotte scene. Maybe I'm just too picky for my own good. But as for places to go in this town, there are a lot of things to do (plays, concerts, movies, sporting events, etc.). I'm not really into the bar scene, but there are plenty of clubs in this town too. Maybe I don't complain about things to do here because I grew up in a small town nearby where there really wasn't anything to do and Charlotte seems like a major city by comparison. As far as the availability of singles over 30 in this city, well, now that's another story. I don't meet as many eligible men as I would like, but I'm sure that would change if I went out more...so I take responsibility for that, I don't blame the city I live in. And in response to the earlier blogger who said a Madea play wouldn't play here, you're wrong...Madea has been here TWICE in the past three years (Class Reunion and Madea Goes to Jail), including last weekend! Finally, why all the references to churches as though they are places to be avoided? Maybe you should try it sometime, not necessarily to meet someone, but just to tap into your spiritual side. Peace.
The people here are just so trying to be something they are not.
stuck up and unfriendly seems to be the norm.
For all you 30+ singles out there who say there is nothing to do, here's the perfect opportunity for the entrepreneurial types to open a club or some other type of gathering place that caters to singles. A good place to start is within a local church or faith based organization. I currently attend a church with 5000+ members and about 20% are singles. They schedule all types of activities from camping/hiking to extreme sports events. You will find that whatever you give to this world, you will get back in spades.
There is a big difference between being single and being alone. When was the last time you volunteered in your community, worked on a political campaign, mentored a student, coached a youth sporting event, or took a class. These are just a few ways to open up your world to meeting new and interesting people. People are drawn to other interesting people -- so what makes you interesting?
After reading some of these posts, it's quite obvious why most of you can't find a date in Charlotte! While you losers sit at home and complain, the rest of us are out having fun. Stay there! Your pessimism bores us.
Enjoying the single life and all this fine city has to offer -
36/D/P/W/F
I met my husband in Charlotte, and he is an answered prayer. Charlotte is a wonderful place and it's just as easy to meet people here as other places. Pherhaps, singles are looking too hard and are looking for someone perfect. If the person shows respect, is honest, loyal, responsible, who cares if he/she dosen't drive a BMW. Remember, everyone has issues (even you), it just depends on what you can put up with. I'd rather put up with that than with man who likes to run the streets 24/7. If you're not willing to put up with anything, then be prepared to stay singled. My husband is a couch potato.
I met my husband in Charlotte, and he is an answered prayer. Charlotte is a wonderful place and it's just as easy to meet people here as other places. Pherhaps, singles are looking too hard and are looking for someone perfect. If the person shows respect, is honest, loyal, responsible, who cares if he/she dosen't drive a BMW. Remember, everyone has issues (even you), it just depends on what you can put up with. My husband is a couch potato; I'd rather put up with that than with man who likes to run the streets 24/7. If you're not willing to put up with anything, then be prepared to stay singled.
For all the single guys - maybe you should all try speed dating. I heard there are usually a lot of attractive females but the guys stink!!
I couldn't agree more. I've been saying that Charlotte is bad for years- and I actually grew up here! I've been out at night in several of the cities in the top 25 (San Diego, Los Angeles, San Antonio, and Raleigh). I can attest that the women were much, much more approachable in those cities. I know other guys that have said the same thing.
Anytown is what you make of it...I lived in SF, Atlanta, and Charlotte.
Charlotte may some lose points for diversity, but if you are 30 & a straight male, you shouldn't have any problem finding a date!
The list IS bogus. Rochester and Buffalo? I guess they can hook up easier--because everyone is UGLY. Ditto Baltimore. The survey favor college areas. If Chapel Hill was 20 mins from Charlotte, Charlotte would totally move up. But, if you are 30 & still going to college bars, that's just wrong.
The Problem is not Charlotte, it's you. If you've been living in Charlotte for over 5 years and still complaining that you don't like it, why are you still there, what's keeping you from leaving. It's obvious that you're not happy there, so why don't you do us a favor and leave. Noone's holding a gun to your head and forcing you to stay. I'm pretty sure that noone is going to shed a tear over your departure. You are no different from those people still complaining over the new arena that's now open. If you think Charlotte's "boring," what are you doing to make it better? If you want more culture and diversity, why don't you and your friends pull your resources together and help bring some of those amenities that Charlotte so lack to Charlotte instead of whining about what Charlotte doesn't have, that is if you have the resources to do it. But no, it's too easy to bash Charlotte because it's the "cool" thing to do. For those of you that have moved to Charlotte and appreciate what Charlotte does have, I applaud you for at least making the effort to go out and trying to make the most of it. Those are the people we need in Charlotte to help bring about change and to make a difference in the long term future of Charlotte.
It looks like from all the comments and the result of the survey, Charlotte is not a good "hook up" city because "hook up" means just have indiscriminate sex with any half brained body you can find! Well, lets see.... Sodom and Gomorah are gone, but there is still San Francisco and New York. If you don't like the churches and all the conservative people, quit your whineing and move on. Don't try to corrupt the city for the hundreds of thousands of us who like it just fine!
In response to the last poster, are you a true believer or just another one of those Bible-toting hypocrites that want to condemn those for their behavior but don't look at your faults. And I want to know another thing, if you're a Christian, how is it that you're automatically a conservative, the Bible that I read does not say anything about being affiliated with one or another. But the point I'm trying to make is, change is coming, whether you like it or not. I do hope that one day that Charlotte does become a world-class city and it does become a 24/7 city in the process. those who fear that will have to get over that because it will eventually happen.
Hear's a thought, if a lot of people are moving to Charlotte from all over the place and they're supposed to be bringing all of this diversity and culture, then why is it that Charlotte is still this white, Republican, conservative 'Christian' community as y'all like to say? When will the yankee and Cali influence take over for some of you that claim that Charlotte isn't diverse enough or still lacks culture? Just a thought!
I somewhat agree with the last response. Charlotte is a wonderful place with huge potential, but it's time to purge the city of the old (segragation) and bring in the new. There are tons of people who are trying to bring new ideas and diversity to the area, but the "powers that be" don't want to move forward. The city sends mixed messages, they claim to want diversity, but they tolerate racism from political leaders. What worked 50 years ago, will not work today. Racism is a turn off.
You just hit it right on the nail. It's time for the old guard to go and bring in fresh, new faces that's going to usher in a change and move Charlotte closer to achieving that status of being a world-class, 24/7, vibrant and happening city. I've lived in NC all of my life and remember when Charlotte was no bigger than Greensboro. Charlotte has changed a lot, but I do acknowledge that it still has a lot of growing up to do, and I do believe that it will eventually get there.
Let's not forget Charlotte's place in Rock 'n' Roll history.
Jimi Hendrix got booed off the stage here. Yep that's right. Hendrix booed. WTF.
But I do remember when downtown Charlotte was cool, before the banks took over with places like the Crazy Hores bookstore, where all the local poets and radicals hung out. There were a few cool places to hang out, come to think of it. Wow, how we have progressed backwards.
To comment on the person who stated Bob Johnson's presence in Charlotte being a sign of new beginnins, I totally agree with you. Whether the conservatives realize it or not, Charlotte is a big city now! Along with growth come challenges. If you do not want to deal with the big city headaches, you need to move somewhere where you can be among people that share your same backward conservative philosophy. It is also time for the leaders and the community as a whole to start embracing the diversity and culture that's coming in instead of trying to suppress the culture and trying to force the culture to conform to the norms of the community. What's the point in having diversity if the people are not allowed to express their creativity without being looked down as being too different. It is time for Charlotte as a whole to start having more a big city mindset. If you want a small town, then I suggest you move to Salisbury or Mt. Airy (or Mayberry, since the conservatives so long for the Andy Griffith days), haha.
Why has this subject strayed from singles meeting other singles to an issue of racism? What it all boils down to is that there seems to be an art to meeting other singles and it takes effort. Interesting people will attract interesting people -- go for it!
The city is terrible for single people and dare I say it interesting people?.....
That was me but I have to respond to the posts I have seen since my comment. It is always amazing to me how quickly locals get their backs up when anyone suggests there is a lack of diversity. To answer the question "how did a question about singles stray to racism....Because that is a big part of the problem for out of towners trying to fit in to the single scene. I also found it interesting that those who have been here and who are part of the group of friends they have had since the 5th grade and obviously don't feel left out are saying how easy it is to meet people.
Here it is in a nutshell if you are not from here, a student or alum of UNC Charlotte, and are not married but are having an active social life and dare I say not white, male.... Please tell the rest of us your secret. Because for the majority of singles in Charlotte it is tough to go to a club, bar, or for that matter even a church and get a local to approach, show interest, strike a conversation and/or form a friendship with someone who isn't a friend of a friend......
In response to cah1470, you only know what you know. I am considering relocation to Charlotte area from CA. From first hand experience I can tell you that diversity only works well when all groups are open and respectful. CA prides itself on its diversity. Several years ago, my daughter's elementary school acknowledged having 19 different languages/cultures in the school and whites were definitely in the minority.
Only a few cities in the WORLD can be compared to LA or NYC. Let's be logical people. Charlotte is barely in the top 25 largest metros in the USA, however it is one of the fastest growing, highest average household income, NBA/NFL/WNBA/NASCAR/ECHL/AAA Baseball/Pro Soccer, #2 largest financial city in the USA. I moved here from the moose, deer and tick infested New England...and I will take Charlotte anyday! A lot of what happens to you in life is almost entirely dependant upon YOU, not your surroundings! Remember, President Clinton was a FOSTER child!!!!!! He made the best of it. So, when giving a fair opinion of Charlotte, please compare it to similar size metros...i.e Tampa, Jacksonville, Richmond, St Louis, Austin, New Orleans (pre Katrina)
I think part of the problem people may have with Charlotte could be the case that a lot of people in Charlotte prematurely started proclaiming themselves a world-class city and that they were on par with places like Atlanta after pro sports first came to town. I love Charlotte and want to see Charlotte progress to the next level, but let's be realistic, Charlotte is not there yet when it compares to Atlanta, New York, LA, DC, or Chicago. It's still a mid-sized city, and I do believe when compared to cities similar in size to Charlotte, those cities do not compare to Charlotte. Charlotte is well ahead of other cities its size when it comes to all of the options it has. Charlotte may not have the best nightlife, but it definately does not have the worst nightlife either. Just my observation.
Blue states are better than red. Note the list. Most are in blue states. People are friendlier, less self-righteous, and xenophiliacal.
Please don't tell me that this is a bad city for singles!! I just moved here from a small town hoping to find a bit more action as far as the social/dating scene goes!
well looks like you above me are scrued. Sorry Charleston, SC
is only a few hours away.
I'm suprised that Charlotte, NC
made the list.
I am 27 and a single male who lives in Fayetteville NC, and visit Charlotte probably every 2 weeks. I don't know, but living in Fayetteville which is center to Fort Bragg and where men outnumber women 10-to-1 because of it being a military town, I find dates almost monthly... so when I visit Charlotte, I still manage to find and meet beautiful single women. I guess it depends on the guy and how he is approaching women. I don't go out looking for someone, I just go with the flow.
I relocated from Charlotte several years ago to Atlanta. People would ask me all the time about Charlotte. I would tell them it is a nice city to live, work and raise a family but not a place for singles.
I would not go out for months in Charlotte, then when I finally would venture out. People thought I was from out of town.
I a person does not go to church or meet someone at work, there is no place to really meet single people there.
The club/bar scene becomes old after a few months because you start seeing the same old faces.
The malls? Yea right.....You can hit all the malls in Charlotte in one day and still run into some of the same people.
Do I like Atlanta? Not really. I'm surpised that the city did not rank in the Top 25 as well. There are alot of superfical people here pretending to be someone that they are not.
Point me to a city with real down to earth people...I'm there....Dang !!!!
Any male visiting Charlotte would incorrectly assess that this city is a gold mine for single heterosexual men, because of the following:
1) The sea of striped-shirted, jean-clad wall flower meatheads stalking women relentlessly in the clubs,
2) There seems to be one barber in town, and he has the patent on that amazingly stupid hair-brushed-forward haircut with the little gel-spiked flippy-thing in the front goin' on,
3) Is every day "upper-body day" in the gym or something? I'm just kidding. Your lats do make your calves look bigger.
And last but not least...
4) Sunglasses in the club? Come on dude. It seems that as every fashion season changes, and with it so do the designer drugs. Lay off the ecstacy. It's out of style and you look like an idiot, no matter how "good" you feel.
All the above make it very easy for any male with an ounce of style and some individuality to stand out in the Charlotte crowd.
So, then what's the problem?
Most of the women in this town don't have style or any appreciation for individuality themselves.
...and you thought your fake Louis Vuitton clutch was in. I'm sorry. Here's a South Park bumper sticker.
The Stepford Wife approach to women's fashion in Charlotte is utterly redundant. If you're still wearing a shawl, quietly slip it off before you walk outside. No one will notice, and you may just set a new trend!
While I'm ranting, I'll go ahead and put this out there too. Women in this town, probaby in reaction to the loads of overbearing Cool Water wearing nonces referred to above, are extremely unfriendly in Charlotte. Just because I said excuse me so that I could get a drink at the bar, doesn't mean I want to get in your Uggs (which were never stylish by the way). Here's a tip, whatever Brittany wears, don't wear. Okay, on we go...
And why is it that it takes 2 years for retail/restaurant/club concepts to flow from other markets to Charlotte, only to be watered down and passe once here.
Maybe I should ponder this over a cheap tequila shot out of some buttafaces belly at Coyote Ugly (no offense girls - you're just a part of the herd. I don't expect you to know any better. Otherwise you wouldn't have stood in line for two hours to interview for that Godforsaken job.)
The lack of creativity in venues in this town is a reflection of the lack of creativity in their owners. Anything truly creative in this town gets labeled "gay", which is in all respects a good thing, except one. It doesn't exactly bring out the females.
IIIIRrrrrrrrr..... full circle.
All you str8s stop complaining! You try being gay in this town and finding someone stable! Actually, I moved here from Charleston,SC and gaywise this town is lightyears ahead of Charleston. I have actually had no problem finding dates and have a boyfriend currently. They usually only last a month. Where you live is important. I live in Dilworth and always have something to do. If you are gay in this town and do not live in Dilworth, Plaza Midwood, Elizabeth, Uptown, NODA, Wilmore or Wesley Heights you are screwed and not in a good way! I truly can't imagine being gay in Gastonia as being much fun.
Absolutely, Charlotte sucks for dating. I've lived here for almost 6 yrs, and myself and all (not most) of my girlfriends are going through the same thing. We're dating but defintely not regularly and definitely not stable men. No matter if there old or young. Charlotte is indeed one of the worst cities to hook up with anyone despite our emerging night life.
I agree, dating in Charlotte can be tough (I'm a native, but have lived in other cities where it seems easier), but depending on what you are looking for (hook-up, long-term, marriage, etc) there are lots of places to meet people. If you are over the bar scene, try a volunteer or community organization or just get out and take a walk in Myers Park, Dilworth, Matthews, Uptown, SouthEnd, etc. About 1/3 of my friends are married, about 1/3 are in serious relationships and 1/3 are single and range in ages 24-35. There is no rhyme or reason to when/where you met the right person, you just have to open to meeting new people. I think that is part of the problem in Charlotte. Too many people find their cliques and are terrified to venture outside of them. And I agree, church is probably not the ideal place to meet someone unless that is your thing. So, get out and do some exploring, there is lots ogoing on in this city. To all the transplants, you should have seen it 5 years ago.
Places/Things to Check-Out:
Young Affiliates of the Mint Events (these are fun, the booze flows freely for a platry entry price and its full of singles-and couples alike)
Stop into McCormick & Schmick's happy hour...cheap food, not so cheap drinks, but lots of people to mingle with.
Freedom Park-any weekend (warm is better) is perfect to chat up new friends out walking their dog or getting some exercise
If you are a sports fan, may I suggest any number of bars. Or join a league this spring (soccer, flag football, running club, etc)
FYI-I am in the 1/3 of my friends in a very healthy serious relationship, but that has just been within the last year...so I've been there and know the challenges.
choa
lazyday
goactiveclub
charlotteswingdancesociety
artofliving.org
young affiliates of the mint
i could go on but you get the picture...
how could someone be bored? I am mid 30's, divorced, no kids,...and dont usually do the club/bar scene. i do like swing dancing, meditation, outdoors and social events. i am originally from NYC and no you cant compare apples to oranges. you want to get out and meet people? then join some clubs, go to the coffee shops, charity events, the gym, take dance lessons, whatever interests you. and here's a thought.. treat everyone you meet as a friend. smile, chat be friendly.. what you put out there is what comes back to you. no matter what city you live in. and no i dont live in uptown, i do live in the burbs, and yes there are alot of families on the southside. but it doesnt make it a bad place to live..i am in a condo/townhome community and the majority of us are single.
36/f/d/
The last poster is right. There are plenty of magazines and other publications that advertise a lot of events and places to go all around the city. If you read Creative Loafing alone, they always have a lot of ads for certain night spots. Creative Loafing is the only one I do know about. So there is no excuse for not going out and finding a nice place to go, especially if you read some of these publications the last poster and myself have mentioned on a regular basis.
this is shocking!!!! My best friend and I just moved to charlotte from Atlanta- and we LOVE it here!!! We have had no problem at all meeting all different types of people to hang out with!!! I hated the single scene in atlanta- seems all i ever met were guys who just wanted to hook up- but I think Charlotte is full of nice guys!
After reading the 90 something posts about this subject. Completely agree with one of the posters who said this city has a "Stepford Wives" feel. Everytime I go out, the same type of girl is out and about. You know the one I'm talking about. YAWN! The blonde clone wearing jeans with heels a bead top and her 60$ blowout. ZZZ ZZZ That look is so late 90's. Yet it's all the rage in Charlotte. I do agree there is a lack of respect for individuality. When I go out and wear something completely of the moment or hard-core fashionista I'm given cold icy stares from people. And this is coming from a person that lives in "bohemian" Plaza-Midwood who does not frequent the typical Charlottean place.
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